Seriously hating my life right now.  Nothing seems to be going right.  And hasn't since last summer.

1st problem - Kaitlyn broke up with Daniel and he let her.  Yes, in my eyes, that's the way it went.  I understand on one level that maybe it was for the best.  And then they both started dating people I don't like. I know, not my place to like or dislike.  But I don't.  They broke up with the others and I had hope that they would get back together and life as I knew it would go back to normal.  Nope.  She still had expectations that he couldn't fulfill.  So poof...now they are both dating the people I don't like and I can't do anything about it.  I'll live...it's really not the worst thing going on in my life right now.

2nd problem - I hate where I live, I always have.  But I've stayed here because Greg seems to like it.  I want to move to the other side of town, found a very interesting house in our price range.  But Greg won't even consider it.  I think I'm just tired of looking after his interests when he has no desire to do the same.

In his defense, though, Greg does let me take extravagant vacations with Kaitlyn.  For the last few years, we have gone to Disney twice (and stayed in Deluxe Hotels) and Las Vegas (stayed in a very nice hotel).  And if I told him tomorrow that I wanted to go again, he'd probably let me.  

3rd (and by far, the worst) problem - My mom is dying.  Just seeing those words in print make me cry.  Apparently, she has Motor Neuron Disease.  Incurable, untreatable.  And it's pretty much end stage.  Within the last few months, she has gone from being my best friend to a shell of the person she was.  I thought I was strong enough to handle this.  I don't know if I am.  I don't know if I should pray for a miracle to make her better or pray to let her go.  She hasn't had a good life and deserves some peace, some respite from the pain.  All I know is, no matter how old I am, I still need my mom.  But I love her enough to let go.  

And that is my bummer post for the night.

Haven't written anything in a while.  But felt the need for a poem.  Go figure.

You tell me

You love him

You miss him

You want him

You tell me

You love her

You miss her

You want her

You are lonely

You are with others

You are lonely

And yet,

You miss each other

You want each other
You love each other

Forever