Thursday, August 18, 2016

Musings for today

I smelled you the other day.  Sounds weird to say, but it is the truth.  For nearly 3 months, I have been wanting to see you again, to touch you again.  I have never wished so hard to be haunted by a ghost in my life. But then I smelled you.

Everyone has their own particular scent.  Yours is a combination of gasoline, grease, and cigarette smoke…with some other interesting undernotes that defy description.  I just know it was you. And it made me wonder…

Was it just a sensory memory? I should have smelled you at that spot at that time.  It was between 7:30 and 8 am on a workday.  You would have just passed through that space on your way to work. Was it the spectre of you, going about his daily business?

I don’t know what it was. It made me sad, it made me happy, it made me confused and angry. I didn’t get a chance to say a proper farewell, you were gone before I could. For the last quarter of a year, I’ve run the gamut of emotions (sometimes all in one day or even one hour). I’ve held it together pretty well, I think. And then I smelled you.

I just stood there, eyes closed, inhaling deeply, thinking “Bye Babe, have a great day”. I was lost in the moment for just a moment. Then I opened my eyes and reality came crashing back. The scent was gone and time started again.


Life goes on. I miss you. Come back and let me smell you again.

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