After we returned, we saw the doctor and she agreed that another round of chemo was unnecessary and instructed Greg to get a scan in May to see where we were.
Greg had a scan on May 17. And an appointment for May 23 was set to see the doctor. He was feeling so much better, his energy level was getting better every day, his hair was growing back. He had never stopped working throughout all of this and he told me every night that work was getting back to normal for him. Everything was looking so good. We were feeling positive and hopeful for the first time in months.
May 20 was a Friday. The weather had been nice all day, Greg had come home in a good mood. He decided he wanted pizza, and I complained a bit (as I don't really care for pizza) but caved. As always, whatever he wanted to eat, I would get him, whether I liked it or not! I ordered the pizza and said I would go get it. "No," he said, "I need to get gas in the car and ice (our ice machine was broken at the time), so I'll go". "Cool..." And that was the last time I talked to him.
About 30 minutes later, just as I was starting to get nervous, my phone rang. And my heart sank. It was the pizza parlor. "Is this Jacqui?" the girl on the line asked. I said it was. She asked if I had ordered a pizza and sent someone to get it. I said I had, my husband. She then stated "The paramedic wants to talk to you". Never has a statement caused me so much fear. I was told to come up to the pizza parlor immediately and asked if my husband had a DNR or any advance directives. I flew to my car, called my friend Robin along the way. I jumped out of my car, but the paramedics and police officers would not let me near my husband, who was lying on the ground next to our car. I spoke to them, advised no DNR, no advance directives...they worked on him for a very long time, transported him to the hospital, where they worked on him for about an hour. He never regained consciousness, never again breathed on his own. He didn't die alone, though. A passerby, on her way to work, saw him collapse in the parking lot, did a U-Turn and tried to help him. I will be forever grateful to her for not letting him be alone. I had called our children and 2 of them came to the hospital (the 3rd was all the way down in Chattanooga and couldn't get here quick enough. I was heartbroken for him driving all that way alone...they were in the middle of a move and his wife was on her way down from Detroit). Greg's family and mine all came to the hospital. We said our farewells, some at the hospital, some at the funeral home. Some were peaceful, some not so much.
The next few days were a blur and a whirlwind. Somehow, we all made it through. At his work, they were devastated and in shock. Work came to a standstill when the boys picked up the toolbox. I think that's when it became real for those guys. The funeral gathering was nice, I think. I talked to so many people...and I'm sorry if I don't remember anyone. As I walked in to the Funeral Home, I got somewhat hysterical, thinking "If I don't go in here, it can't happen and life will gone on as it was" Silly, I know. But running away has always been kinda my thing, and I figured I could run away and this wouldn't be happening. But I didn't. I stood strong there in that space. And I'm still standing strong for the most part.
On a side note, I called the Doctor's office to cancel his appointment. I spoke to his Doctor and she was flabbergasted. This was NOT expected, his scan looked good. He might have had the beginning of pneumonia, but she was going to prescribe an antibiotic. There were some new areas of concern, but she wanted to monitor them. The recommendation was going to be come back for a scan in 3 months. So...did the cancer kill him? Most assuredly, even though the official cause of death was cardiac arrest. Contributing factor - Cancer of the Lung. I'll spare you the gory details (and they are)...but Cancer sucks.
So, that's why I haven't, and probably won't update that Disney trip anymore. It was fun...but the memories are somewhat blurred behind all the turmoil. All I can say is from July 2015 through May 2016, my life had some highlights, but it truly was the worst year of my life so far. I'm getting better, the kids are getting better. And Life goes on...
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